Security: TriStar and the new security service: www.starlink-irc.org/security/

Webring: For all who have webpages check www.starlink-irc.org/webring.html

Email Updates: All channel owners: If you happen to change ISP's change of email address please let someone in #Channels know. If for any reason cservice needs to get in touch with you about your channel, we need a valid email address. You can let cservice know by sending an email to slirc-register@starlink-irc.org

Word Games:  Live trivia at various times and places throughout the week.

#International: We hope to bring together folks from all nations and languages .. come join us for chat, good friends, and if you can volunteer to translate, all the better. Even a smattering of another language is welcomed! Leave your names with Channel Owner Wullie or one of the other regulars if we can call on you for help. ¡Muchos gracias

WWW (Way With Words): Have you tried to come up with the perfect verse, greeting or message when sending a card, and your mind draws a blank? If you have some favorites, send them to Pat@pobox.com.

January

• January 20 Aquarius Begins
• 21 Martin Luther King Jr Day
• 21 Sofia’s Birthday (#50&fantastic)
• 25 Robert Burns Day (Take Wullie to lunch)
• 25 School Nurse Day
• 26 Spouse’s Day
• 27 Full Moon Day
• 27 Anniversary (Deliteful and mainman)

February

• 2 Candelmas
• 2 Groundhog Day (Watch for the shadow!)
• 5 School Counselor Week
• 8 Boy Scouts Day
• 7 Wullie’s Birthday (Cservice, IRC op, #Babyboomers, #Rebels, #50&fantastic)
• 10 Carnival
• 11 Chinese New Year
• 12 Abraham Lincoln’s Birthday
• 12 Mardi Gras
• 12 Shrove Tuesday
• 13 Ash Wednesday
• 14 Valentine’s Day (Take your sweetie to lunch)
• 15 Canada Flag Day
• 18 Pisces Begins

• January birthstone ­ Garnet

You devote your energies to home life much of this month. Since you tend to be very focused and alert,expect to improve your surroundings successfully. Aquarians ‘ ability to count and plan is low. Humor and creativity are the main points which make them stand out. Aquarius people are often chatterboxes and their phone lines are always busy.

FAMOUS AQUARIUS PEOPLE: Tom Brokaw ­ TV Journalist (NBC) Rush Limbaugh ­ Talk Show Host Cybill Shepherd ­ Cybill Oprah Winfrey ­ The Oprah Winfrey Show

AMAZING AND LESSER THINGS! by Amazing

Roving Reporter Lois Lane’s recommendations for enjoyable chatting: Late Afternoon/Early Evening (depending on where you live): #Classics Late Evening/Early Morning (depending) #50&Fantastic

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A short column of made-up facts and non-information brought to you by your friendly neighborhood arachnid

FOGWEB FOLLIES

Here we are in the year of 2002 .. which spelled backwards is 2002. If you fold it in half its 02 (or 20 depending if you fold to the left or the right .. but we wont be discussing that in a fambly newsletter. Well we might but YOU wont get a copy so there :P )

The Dept of Defense ATFWP (Advanced Twisted Food Weapons Program) will be collecting pretzel donations in #snax_for_osama on February 30th and 31st. (Or the first year on which there is a 32nd of January, whichever comes last).

And start saving up for the 4th of julie scavenger hunt. this year we are going to charge 5,609,668,223.18 per person for NOT playing. Collection and distribution will be managed by Enron. Or not.

Have a Happy ought two !

Itsy

NEW CHANNELS New Stars Linked by Treecat .. A warm welcome to this month's new channels and their owners. If you have a chance, do stop in and give these folks a friendly Hi!

• #River-of-Life - songwoman
• #Krissy_and_Christy^s_Cafe - krissy19
• #mIRC_Dreams - TBW #nazgals - Donna
• #sl_learning_center - Searles
• #chat - DJSupreme
• #KentuckyHome - countryboy
• #script-help-101 - Tanthalas
• #trenchcoatwins - LauraSnow
• #Summerlands - Deborah

ASTRONOMY PICTURE OF THE DAY: (Contributed by Brad (Alien) Biggers Discover the cosmos!Each day a different image or photograph of our fascinating universe is featured, along with a brief explanation written by a professional astronomer. Absolutely amazing photos of our outer world!

http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html

DUMB CRIMINALS:  Birmingham, England A local man stormed into a local bank demanding all the cash tellers had on hand. When security windows began to go up as he reached over the counter, the criminal decided he had better make a run for it. For nearly ten minutes he tried to escape through the door from whence he came, however it simply would not budge. Figuring that the doors had been automatically locked, the man resigned himself to being arrested. As police escorted him from the bank, he noticed on the door in bright red letters the word PULL.

http://www.dumbcriminalacts.com/banks7.shtml

Other Random but Fun Events: #Just4Fun (OUTBURST); #Sunshine_Again ( MADGABS)

SURE, SHE DID!!!
Contributed by Lisa Jorgenson

"An Oregon man convicted in the shooting death of his wife was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole and ordered to pay nearly $1 million to his late wife's estate.

"The man denied that he killed his 37-year-old wife, saying she committed suicide in the master bedroom of their house by shooting herself in the head .....twice."
(Only in Oregon! Ed.)

Every society has parasites that prey upon the productive people. I’m not referring to legal parasites like ambulance-chasing lawyers, stock-churning brokers and hypocritical demagogues who pose as politicians. It’s the modern thief who goes after not only your property, but also your identity, who has captured my attention. In fact, identity theft is the key to ripping you off.

Today’s society is especially vulnerable to this type of crime precisely because we have become so dependent upon technology. Whether we like it or not, our Social Security Number has become how we are known by the system. The first step to stealing someone’s identity is obtaining that nine-digit code. With that number it is possible to access the private aspects of someone’s life, including credit cards, bank accounts, home mortgages, driver’s licenses, and more. The Internet did not create this type of fraud, but it certainly made it easier and quicker for the perpetrators. Eventually technology may help provide the solutions to this type of crime; today you should take steps to protect yourself.

As I was preparing to write this column, an e-mail that dealt with the subject of identity theft was forwarded to me. The timing was perfect and the advice in the message seemed indisputable. What I provide here is a summary with the important points highlighted. The story is about a gentleman having his wallet stolen and soon finding his identity has gone with it. Credit cards are ordered in his name, his driver’s license information is altered, cell phones are ordered, and credit lines are established with consumer businesses. Soon unknown creditors are hounding the victim, and his own credit rating has plummeted to zip. A thieving freeloader is raising havoc in the life of an innocent man. This can happen to anyone and there are steps you should take to protect yourself:

Never carry your Social Security Number in your wallet or purse. (If you’re in the military, your ID card contains your SSN. Guard it carefully.) Keep a list of all your credit cards plus the appropriate toll-free numbers in a safe place just in case you lose your wallet or purse. Call as soon as possible after an incident. Immediately file a police report in your local jurisdiction to establish the theft or possible theft of your property. This proves to creditors that you were taking steps to prevent possible fraud. This is possibly the most important step: Call the three national credit-reporting organizations immediately and have a fraud alert placed upon your name and Social Security Number. This will force companies to take additional steps before approving credit in your name, which includes actually calling you to verify identity. The companies and numbers are: Equifax: 800-525-6285, (fraud assistance hotline); 800-882-0648 (information service center); 800-270-3435 (credit file ordering line) Experian (formerly TRW): 888-397-3742 Trans Union: 800-680-7289

The Social Security Administration also has a fraud line at 800-269-0271. Jack Dunning Publisher letters@cscene.com

• Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.
• Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
• How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
• Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?
• If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
• Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.
• If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?
• You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
• Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
• Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.
• We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors.... but they all have to learn to live in the same box.
• Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
• A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
• Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.

• 1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
• 2) The farm was used to produce produce.
• 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
• 4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
• 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
• 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
• 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
• 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
• 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
• 10) I did not object to the object.
• 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
• 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
• 13) They were too close to the door to close it.
• 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
• 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
• 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
• 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
• 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
• 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
• 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
• 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

• There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
• English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
• Sweetmeats are candies while >sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
• We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
• And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce>and hammers don't ham?
• If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the >plural of booth beeth?
• One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
• Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal?
• If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
• If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
• If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

• In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
• Ship by truck and! send cargo by ship?
• Have noses that run and feet that smell?
• How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
• How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
• Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?
• Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown?
• Have you ever met a sung hero or experienced requited love?
• Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?
• And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible. However, when the lights are out, they are invisible. Why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

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