General Information

For all who have webpages: Don't forget you can join the webring by going to www.starlink-irc.org or can ask questions concerning it in #WebRing :)

All channel owners: If you happen to change ISP's or have a change of email address please let someone in #channels know.
If for any reason cservice needs to get in touch with you in regards to your channel we need a valid email address. You can also let cservice know by sending an email to slirc-register@starlink-irc.org

Word Gamers: Great word game channels: #Trivia, #Scramble, and #WedNiteTriva.
As you enter #Trivia or #Scramble, a message comes up asking for new puzzles or trivia questions and where to send them. If you have any that you would like added, please check out the email addresses in each of these channels and send them in.

#International: StarLink-IRC is trying a grand experiment with #International. We hope to bring together folks from all nations and languages .. come join us for chat, good friends, and if you can volunteer to translate, all the better. Even a smattering of another language is welcomed! Leave your names with Channel Owner Wullie or one of the other regulars if we can call on you for help. ¡Muchos gracias!

• #Norwich Third Anniversary Month
• 20-26 Friendship Week
• 20 Meatloaf's birthday (#Just4fun)
• 21 Pinkmaiden's birthday (#Just4fun)
• 21 Taz1's birthday (#Barons Bunker)
• 22 HighWay Lady's birthday (#SomeR50+)
• 22 Be An Angel Day
• 22 Tooth Fairy Day
• 25 Kiss & Make Up Day
• 26 Women's Equality Day
• 27 Just Because Day
• 28 Daniel's birthday (Just4fun)
• 28 Race Your Mouse Day

September

• Subliminal Advertising Month
• 4 Labor Day 5 Late For Something Day
• 5 earman's birthday (#Just4fun)
• 10 Grandparents Day
• 15 Angie's birthday (#Just4fun)
• 15 Quarterly Tax Day
• 17 Citizenship Day
• 17 Constitution Day
• 19 Intl. Day of Peace
• 20 Yodster's birthday (#Just4fun)
• 24 Good Neighbor Day

SPECIALS

Belated birthday wishes:

• -

• August Birthstone: Sardonyx or Peridot
• September Birthstone: Sapphire
• Virgo Gemstone: Sardonyx
• flowers: nasturtium, golden rod lucky
• star: mercury
• lucky day: Wednesday
• lucky color: purple
• lucky numbers: 4, 6

You have a sharp intellectual mind which delights in all things analytical or poetic. A perfectionist at heart, you demand no less of those around you and are careful in choosing your friends. You have an artistic streak which manifests itself in your originality and your interest in physical order. Although curiosity may cause you to flit from one thing to another early in life, eventually you will settle into your place and dedicate your time to a single field. Virgos make excellent doctors, accountants, analysts, and teachers, but their hard work and initiative allows them to succeed in any area. Their youth may be characterized by chaos, but they will find comfort and stability as they move forward through life and begin to design a path of their own.

AMAZING AND LESSER THINGS! by Amazing

w

A short column of made-up facts and non-information brought to you by your friendly neighborhood arachnid

FOGWEB FOLLIES

RUMOR has it that two anonymouse SLIRC staffers whose initials are amazing and treecat are once AGAIN getting together for a power window festival, combined with a trip to costco and ending with some trip to some fair with some artist singing some song somewhere. It's not known if the seismographs at UCLA can see the up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down up down. But you never know.

Dont forget this is the last month to get the kids all wrapped stapled nailed and boxed up so you can send them off to school. UPS is running a special. Express mail doesnt work because they manage to break out of the envelopes!

Until next month when there will be more stuff.. .. ... WATCH THE PIES !! ... WATCH THE PIES !! ( I always wanted to say that)

NEW CHANNELS New Stars in our Link by Treecat .. A warm welcome to this month's new channels and their owners. If you have a chance, do stop in and give these folks a friendly Hi!

• #Beyond_Reality - NightHawk
• #NDMS-DMAT - eon1
• #Chatterz - pete{C}
• #dunkin_donuts - Ambrose
• #ReflectingPool - MystcWolf
• #PJ_Popups - ameret #PBCersOrg - LindaML-TN
• #Flash - Flash #PBCers - Linie #mshive - cyberwarri
• #CycleUSA - excited
• #pianotech - RevJohn
• #lyme - vander
• #TheBar - Darius

FYI from Itsy" I've 'discovered' the Gibson Research website (It's only been here about, oh, 5 years or longer but hey..)

For those too young to know, Steve Gibson was one of the ORIGINAL techno weenies from the good old days (20 years or so back) when Bill Gates was working in a garage, Peter Norton actually touched a keyboard, and CPUs ran at nearly 0.4 mHz(!). Gibson is the ultimate tecnno weenie for PCs! What is of interest at his site is the link to "Shields Up'. It alllows you to have your PC safely tested without having to download anything.

There are other such 'check' sites on the web, but Gibson is probably the only person out there that I'd trust to probe MY pc .. and most of you know how paranoid I am!

Give the site a checkout .. its free and useful and, best of all, accurate and objective, although he does have his opinions. (He also loves ZoneAlarm.. another plus). By the way, most folks won't need to download the IP Agent to run the tests .. just try the tests without it.

Join some of your SLIRC friends in playing Solitaire daily! Three kinds of Solitaire (Klondike, Agnes and Lois - we won't tell who that last one was named after)…three games of each, each day. There are instructions, and just one tip: Don't Update your scores until ALL games have been played for the day….don't worry, it will remember your scores. New games start the first of each month, but get your hand in now. Comptetition is needed - but not TOO MUCH! :-) Brought to you by TRWEST in Medford, Oregon.

FYI We have achieved ANOTHER neat "milestone" of sorts .. with yet another certification for our net! Congratulations are due to everyone since it takes all of us to keep SL-IRC the family friendly place we hope it will remain forever. Note / Certification Follows:

Hello

Thank you for your interest in ChildrenBrowser's Safe-Sites Project. We have checked out your network and believe it meets our safety criteria. We applaud your effort in providing a safe and friendly environment, and hope you will continue to maintain the quality of your site. If in the future, any part of your site does not meet our safety criteria, we would appreciate it if you notify.

Attached is our Safe-Sites certification logo, which you can place on your site. We will add your site to our Safe-Sites Search Engine, currently used in our CoolNetwork for children. This network is being expanded to include more activities and useful information, and free email, homepages and Web tools.

If possible, we would like to have your help in two areas. First, we are still refining our Safe-Sites Selection Criteria and recruiting volunteers to help us screen sites to meet these criteria. Please let us know if you or any of your members can help.

Second, as you probably know, we have developed a 100% Free, Safe, and Effective browser for children called ChiBrow. We believe it is more effective than most, available online protective technologies for children, and it is free. We would like to have your help in letting Starlink-IRC parent users know about ChiBrow, either by a ChiBrow logo (and link) on your Web site or in your newsletters. And of course, both would be better. :o)

Please let me know if you can help us with either one or both of these requests. Thank you for contacting us. I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards, Hoa Phan Program Coordinator

#Townhall meeting Sunday Aug 18th provided answers to questions about blocks and bans. Following is the log for that portion of the meeting (edited only for ease in reading).

Session Start: Sun Aug 13 18:22:40 2000 #TownHall .Presentation on g:lines k:lines blocks and bans

*** Itsy sets mode: +m
[Itsy] a small moderated moment then plenty of time for Q&A and comments and other stuff after
[Itsy] in a nutshell there are three types of 'bans' on an irc net
[Itsy] a channel ban .. which most of you know about .. when you are excluded from a particular channel by an op on that channel
[Itsy] a k: line (k-kill) and
[Itsy] a g: line (g-global)
[Itsy] both klines and glines are set by irc operators
[Itsy] NOT channel service reps
[Itsy] a k:line is just like a channel ban .. it bans a mask (user) from a particular server only
[Itsy] so if, say, you were k:lined from rochester* you could still connect to williamslake*
[Itsy] a g:line is set by the oper service (deathstar) by command from an ircop.. and is 'global'
[Itsy] if you are glined .. you are banned from all servers on the net.. so its the equivalent of a net wide ban
[Itsy] one small difference.. a k:line remains until it is manually removed by the administrator for that server a g:line is set with an expiration date .. and at that time it goes away
[Itsy] glines can also be removed by any admin or ircop
[Itsy] now .. who sets em
[Itsy] channel bans are set by channel ops and are not subject to being questioned by anyone not affiliated with that channel
[Itsy] basically, legitimate channel ops can set any ban they want without being questioned
[Itsy] its not the same with glines
[Itsy] (we wont talk about k:lines because they are virtually never used any more)
[Itsy] a gline may be set by an ircop or a ds admin
[Itsy] ircops can set glines up to a day in length ..ds admins can set glines up to the year 2038
[Itsy] the main difference is .. ALL glines are 'questionable'...
[Itsy] anyone may ask why or for what reason
[Itsy] and ask that it be removed if it is or was set in error
[Itsy] if we think its a mistake, we will be glad to remove it .. some times 'innocent' bystanders get caught while we are trying to ban a lamer or group of
[Itsy] and we apologize (in advance) when it happens.. we TRY not to have it happen.
[Itsy] IF you think you or someone has been glined by mistake .. send mail to slirc-register@starlink-irc.org with the infomrmation
[Itsy] a 'block' by the way is a quick gline that runs out in an hour..usually used for clone attacks or temporary abusers who we think will get the message and straighten up their act
*** Itsy sets mode: -m
[Itsy] questions?
[Phoon] Itsy: how often are G:lines used?
[Itsy] as needed
[Itsy] some nites you'll see a dozen or more other nites you may see one
[Phoon] Is this a consistent problem or just occasional?
[vander_] what's a "ds admin"?
[Itsy] .. a ds admin is a deathstar administrator
[Itsy] something like a channel owner
[Cougar] how does one see them?
[Itsy] to see glines type /stats g that will show all of them
[Brydog] why would you G:line someone?
[Itsy] if someone is a net pest
[Brydog] meaning?
[Itsy] being an annoyance systematically or on more than one channel flooding, being obscene, etc
[Itsy] on one channel ..its a channel issue if they are wandering from channel to channel .. its a net problem
[BEING] Cougar: To see them type ---> /mode Cougar +s
[Cougar] thanks
[Itsy] ALL glines are set with reasons
[Itsy] i want to EMPHASIZE .. PLEASE ask if you think there has been a mistake
[Itsy] we try hard not to interfere with legit users of the net
[Itsy] but it can happen.. so email somebody.. have a friend email.. come to #channels.. something
[Itsy] folks who have been causing trouble know who they are and wont ask
[Amazing] there is usually someone in #terranova or #channels who can help
[Brydog] logic on your side
[Itsy] oh.. most of you know this already
[Itsy] but don't come to #channels asking to have a channel ban removed
[Itsy] we wont remove it except in an emergency and in nearly four years, have never had to
[Amazing] on this net Ircaddict
[Amazing] have never had to
[NOLady] that's as long as we've been here...
[Itsy] any questions on why and how ?
[Itsy] or who?
[Itsy] its most important to know WHO to ask and when
[Itsy] anything else we can fix
[chiefy] all kidding aside we have a great team here and we can fix any problem if people just communicate to us what the problem is
[Itsy] if you keep banning one person a lot at once.. you may find one of us come to visit to see whats up
[Itsy] we're just seeing if there is a problem with setting the ban not with the ban itself

Regular Network Event Schedule
Note: All times are Eastern US

-

01. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
02. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
03. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile way - and barefoot.
04. Going to church doesn't make you a holy person any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
05. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
06. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
07. A closed mouth gathers no feet.
08. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
09. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
10. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
11. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
12. I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.
13. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
14. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
15. Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again.
16. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
17. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
18. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
19. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it."

Her friend asks, "What is it a puzzle of?"

The blonde says, "From the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

The blonde's friend figures that he's pretty good at puzzles, so he heads over to her place. She lets him in the door and shows him to where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment then studies the box.

He then turns to her and says: "First, no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of that tiger."

"Second, I'd advise you to relax, have a cup of coffee, and put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.

> Close your eyes.....And go back....
> Before the Internet or the MAC,
> Before semi automatics and crack
> Before chronic and indo
> Before SEGA or Super Nintendo

> Way back........

> I'm talkin' bout hide and go seek at dusk.
> Sittin' on the porch, Hot bread and butter.
> The Good Humor man, Red light, Green light.
> Chocolate milk,
> Lunch tickets,
> Penny candy in a brown paper bag.
> Playin' Pinball in the corner store.
> Hopscotch, butterscotch, doubledutch
> Jacks, kickball, dodgeball, y'all!
> Mother May I?
> Red Rover and Roly Poly
> Hula Hoops and Sunflower Seeds,
> Jolly Ranchers, Banana Splits
> Wax Lips and Mustaches
> Running through the sprinkler
> The smell of the sun and lickin' salty lips...

> Wait......

> Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons, Fat Albert, Road Runner, He-Man, The Three Stooges, and Bugs,
> Or back further, listening to Superman on the radio.
> Catchin' lightening bugs in a jar,
> Playin sling shot.
> When around the corner seemed far away,
> And going downtown seemed like going somewhere.
> Bedtime, Climbing trees,
> An ice cream cone on a warm summer night
> Chocolate or vanilla or strawberry or maybe butter pecan
> A lemon coke from the fountain at the corner drug store
> A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers,
> Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians,
> Sittin on the curb,
> Jumpin down the steps,
> Jumpin on the bed.
> Pillow fights
> Runnin till you were out of breath
> Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt
> Being tired from playin'....Remember that?

> I ain't finished just yet...

> Eating Kool-aid powder with sugar
> Remember when...
> When there were two types of sneakers for girls and boys
> (Keds & PF Flyers) and the only time you wore them at school, was for "gym."
> When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up, if you even had one.
> When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there.
> When nobody owned a purebred dog.
> When a quarter was a decent allowance, and another quarter a miracle.
> When milk went up one cent and everyone talked about it for weeks?
> When you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.
> When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then.
> When your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.
> When all of your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done, everyday.
> When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, for free, every time. And, you didn't pay for air. And, you got trading stamps to boot!
> When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box.
> When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him or use him to carry groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents.
When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed...and did!
When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home.

Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! and some of us are still afraid of em!!! Didn't that feel good.. just to go back and say, Yeah, I remember that! There's nothing like the good old days! They were good then, and they're good now when we think about them.

• RELATIONSHIP ARITHMETIC
  Smart man + smart woman = romance
  Smart man + dumb woman = affair
  Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
  Dumb man + dumb woman = venereal disease
• OFFICE ARITHMETIC
  Smart boss + smart employee = profit
  Smart boss + dumb employee = production
  Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
  Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
• SHOPPING MATH
  A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
  A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people
remembering the same thing.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

In the summer of 1900...
The average life expectancy in the United States was 47.
Only 14% of the homes in the United States had a bathtub.
Only 8% of the homes had a telephone.
A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost $11.
There were only 8,000 cars in the US and only 144 miles of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California.
With a mere 1.4 million residents, California was only the 21st most populated state in the Union.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.
The average wage in the US was 22 cents an hour.
The average US worker made between $200 and $400 per year.

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2,000 per year, a dentist
$2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year,
and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
More than 95% of all births in the United States took place at home.

90% of all US physicians had no college education. Instead, they attended medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and by the government as "substandard."

Sugar cost four cents a pound. Eggs were 14 cents a dozen. Coffee cost 15 cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

The five leading causes of death in the US were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza;
2. TB;
3. Diarrhea;
4. Heart disease;
5. Stroke.

The American flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet.

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada was 30. The remote desert community was inhabited by only a handful of ranchers and their families.

Plutonium, insulin, and antibiotics hadn't been discovered yet. Scotch tape, crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented.
There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
One in 10 US adults couldn't read or write.
Only 6% of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Some medical authorities warned that professional seamstresses were apt to become sexually aroused by the steady rhythm, hour after hour, of the sewing machine's foot pedals. They recommended slipping bromide, which was thought to diminish sexual desire, into the women's drinking water.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at corner drugstores. According to one pharmacist, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and the bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health."

18% of households in the United States had at least one full-time servant or domestic.
There were about 230 reported murders in the US annually.

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene
The law is specific, the law is precise
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
And our heads must not be bowed.

It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!

AMEN

Does the First Amendment give us the right to desecrate the American flag?
Or is the flag a sacred symbol of our nation, deserving protection by law?
for those who want to light Old Glory on fire, I say let them do it.
But under one condition: they MUST get permission from three sponsors.

First, you need permission of a war veteran. Perhaps a Marine who fought at Iwo Jima? The American flag was raised over Mount Surabachi upon the bodies of thousands of dead buddies. Each night spent on Iwo Jima meant half of everyone you knew would be dead tomorrow, a coin flip away from a bloody end upon a patch of sand your mother couldn't find on a map. Or maybe ask a Vietnam vet who spent years tortured in a small, filthy cell unfit for a dog. Or a Korean War soldier who helped rescue half a nation from Communism, or a Desert Storm warrior who repulsed a bloody dictator from raping and pillaging an innocent country. That flag represented your mother and father, your sister and brother, your friends, neighbors, and everyone at home. I wonder what they would say if someone asked them permission to burn the American flag?

Second, you need a signature from an immigrant. Their brothers and sisters may still languish in their native land, often under tyranny, poverty and misery. Or maybe they died on the way here, never to touch our shores. Some have seen friends and family get tortured and murdered by their own government for daring to do things we take for granted every day. For those who risked everything simply for the chance to become an American, what kind of feelings do they have for the flag when they Pledge Allegiance the first time? Go to a naturalization ceremony and see for yourself, the tears of pride, the thanks, the love and respect of this nation, as they finally embrace the American flag as their own. Ask one of them if it would be OK to burn the flag or spit on it.

Third, you should get the signature of a mother. Not just any mother. You need a mother of someone who gave their life for America. It doesn't even have to be from a war. It could be a cop. Or a fireman. Maybe a Secret Service or NSA agent. Then again, it could be a common foot soldier as well.

When that son or daughter is laid to rest, their family is given one gift by the American people; an American flag. Go on. I dare you. Ask that mother if you can spit on her flag. Away from family, away from the precious shores of home, in the face of overwhelming odds and often in the face of death, the American flag inspires those who believe in the American dream, the American promise, the American vision...

Americans who don't appreciate the flag don't appreciate this nation. And those who appreciate this nation appreciate the American flag. So if you want to desecrate the American flag, before you spit on it or before you burn it, I have a simple request. Just ask permission. Not from the Constitution. Not from some obscure law. Not from the politicians or the pundits. Instead, ask those who have defended our nation so that we may be free today. Ask those who struggled to reach our shores so that they may join us in the American dream. And ask those who clutch a flag in place of their sacrificed sons and daughters, given to this nation so that others may be free. For we cannot ask permission from those who died wishing they could, just once or once again... see, touch or kiss the flag that stands for our nation: The United States of America, the greatest nation on earth

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